Med: Cue Anxiety

August 3, 2007

Hey everyone,

I was going to write my next post about my move into the city, or perhaps my “cushy scholarship” as Clegal likes to put it, but I will have to save those for another day. I have something a bit more pressing on my mind…I just realized that I’m STARTING MEDICAL SCHOOL IN TWO WEEKS.

OK sure, I’ve known all summer that I was starting med school in august. But I didn’t KNOW. Confused? So am I. It’s been hard trying to put my feelings into words, but here goes…

Until recently, saying that I was starting med school in August was just my standard answer to the “What are you doing next year?” question–I didn’t even really think about my reply. Now that it’s so close, I NEED to start thinking about it–and make sure that I’m prepared. Sure…I’m moved into my apartment, I’ve completed my “Pre-Matriculation Tasks,” and I’ve registered for classes. Yet, something’s not sitting right with me and I’m not sure that I’m ready. Part of me refuses to acknowledge that I’m actually going back to school in a few weeks.

At first I thought this might be a symptom of “burnout.” After all, I did just spend a long four years (including two straight summers taking classes) earning my B.S–but I really don’t think that’s it. I’ve had quite a relaxing summer–which has been great–and I’m ready to start being a productive member of society once again.

Perhaps the 3 month hiatus from classes is actually causing some anxiety. It sounds ridiculous, but after having classes nonstop since the beginning of my sophomore year, these months have seemed like an eternity–and I’m nervous about trying to get my brain back into learning mode. It’s completely irrational–I didn’t suddenly forget how to study–but it’s weighing on me nonetheless.

Also, there’s all of the new place/new people anxiety that arises whenever you start at a new school. Everyone’s starting to move-in, and soon we’ll all be hanging out–both in and out of class. I’m pretty easy-going and don’t really have trouble meeting new people, but it’s still a strange situation whenever you have a large group of people trying to get to know one another. Months from now this will seem like a silly worry to have–just like in college–but for now it remains legit.

Thanks for making it through the post, and I’m sorry if I seemed to be rambling on. But hey, i DID warn that I was having trouble putting it all into words.

And thinking about it, I’m still pretty excited to be starting medical school. 🙂

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